P-U

Like most human beings I am not particularly fond of insects although there are some species that don't seem to bother me like ladybugs or roly polies or skeeter eaters.

However, there is a small list of bugs that cause me distress so great that my demeanor changes instantly from the grown man not scared of shit that I am to a blithering 4-year old girl. Not afraid to admit it either.

The top of the list, as I have said before, is the demonic cockroach. Second on the list would be the 6-inch long "langosta" locust that appears once a year in Costa Rica. Third place is usually shared between large millipedes and scorpions.

Somewhere way down the list is the harmless but odd looking stink bug. They don't seem to offend me to any great extent as I see them often in the garden and they seem to be quite happy to get out of my way. On the other hand, when I am trying to determine why the cab of my truck has filled with a strange and very strong odor, best described as Play Doh mixed with cinnamon and a tinge of ammonia, and I notice a very large stink bug which has appeared on my leg then begins buzzing around my face as I'm driving 75 m.p.h.? Well, all bets are off and out comes the little girl.

The innocent bystander in the bank parking lot where I was finally able to stop must have found it disturbing to see a truck screech to a halt and a grown man barrel roll from the cab, waving his hands wildly while simultaneously and alternately cursing at the wind and whimpering like a beaten puppy.

The bug, on the other hand? Hell, nothing fazes a stink bug. He flew away harmlessly after ruining my afternoon, probably charging up his stink gland for another exciting encounter with a weak-kneed human being.