Grinding

Clearly, we need help.

Yesterday I was standing in line at the grocery and I watched as this morbidly obese whale of a woman bought a basket full of crap using food stamps. They don't call them food stamps anymore. It's something like the Hopeful Ray of Sunshine Debit Card of some feel good bullshit like that. Anyways, she bought chicharrones, chocolate milk, sugary cereal (presumably for a child, maybe not) and countless things of low nutricional value, which she purchased with the Happy Ray Sunshine food stamp debit card.

I think that when you swipe one of these food stamp cards, the machine should blare like a motherfucking foghorn and then announce to the entire store that the user is the human equivalent of a black hole sucking down dollar after dollar of hard-earned tax dollars. Your tax dollars, numbnuts. Shame is an excellent tool against the lazy and useless.

I was raging in my head. "You fat pig whore!" I wanted to reach over and squeeze her neck with all the strength I have. I have strong hands you know. But then I imagined my fingers slowly sinking into the sweaty, warm rolls of her immense neck like through room temperature butter and I had visions of tapeworm segments, little nits of worm eggs, slithering across my fingers and slowly sucking the life out of me as each finger grew into a giant tapeworm which began to eat itself in an endless circle eating and dying and farting out more tapeworm nits.

I decided that it was best not to strangle her. She'll probably just die of a coronary one day anyway. And no one will be infected by her neck worms.

Fucking bitch, I'm glad I can pay for her death through my tax dollars. She deserves it, although we could save a lot of time and money by just clubbing her to death with a Swiffer Sweeper.