It's another glorious day here at Hotel Coral Essex and there are few things that make me happier than having piña coladas as 8 a.m., except maybe watching the maid's ass when she bends over to change the sheets. I swear to god I think I see Jesus in it. I've never kissed a man before.....but.....
I think her name is Carmela or maybe it's Apolonia. Who the fuck knows? I asked her again but apparently my expert Spanish is not getting through to her. "Si what is your llama?" I said. Blank stares. Ah, who cares as long as she keeps bending over.
And now that I consider it for a moment, there are two things better than piña coladas: her ass bending over and my divergent fantasies of kissing the Jesus I see in her cooler. I think that's what they call it here. "Me duele en the cooler." I think that's what the other maid said one day....
I saw on CNN International this morning that something or someone bombed Ghaddafy's compound in Libya. Total bullshit. Reagan almost smoked his ass in the 80's and if it weren't for I-Talian super-secret agents leaking the bad news to Ghaddafy, Libya would be a fantastic golf destination these days. Camel polo or something.
He'd be a fucking moron to be hiding out in the most obvious place in Libya, especially when France or someone is looking for the wonderful opportunity to go, "Ooooopsie!"
Anyway, those holes looked like tank shells and not guided missiles. Oh you old desert fox you, you thought you were gonna pull one over on us, didn't you? The towel on your noggin has been wrapped too tightly for too long bucko.
*Sigh*
Carmelonia is in the bathroom now, maybe I'll accidentally spill this piña colada all over the bed....
....beats watching the bad news of the world on a loop.
- Sent from my iPhone
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