Bang bang ur ded

I have a lot of people ask me why I carry a Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum as my choice weapon for personal protection. Many would exclaim that it is too large or unweildy, quite impractical or simply just too much gun for that type of thing. Nay young fools, there are many reasons exactly why you SHOULD carry this weapon.

If faced with a potentially violent situation and one has to reluctantly produce this fine weapon of cool black Scandium alloy and stainless steel then it is likely that your perpetrator will instantly shit in his drawers (see photo above for reference).  And if this doesn't persuade the hoodlum to vacate your personal space and you actually have to fire the weapon at said criminal, I am not even convinced that you have to actually hit the perp with a shot for it to be effective.

Ideally, if you hit him, he's dead.  A large protion of him will be removed resulting in a very bloody mess.

However, if you miss, one of three things might happen:

1) the sound might deafen him permanently which will be just desserts for jacking with you in the first place;

2) the shockwave might knock him down giving you enough time to escape or fire a second shot;

3) you can melt his face with the five foot flame that erupts from the barrel.

I think I like #3 the best.

So bring it on 99%'ers! Us gun-loving, God-fearing conservative types are waiting for you to send our country spiraling into anarchy.  That's what you want, right? 

You know, we might not mind it too much either. . .